Just a little short one today.

I’ve been party to some really interesting conversations lately.  I have a strange family.  Let me give you some examples of what happens when the family and the strange intermix.

The Girl and the Wife on the daughter being home from university:

The Wife: “Are you happy to be home, honey?”

The Girl: “Are you talking to me?”

The Wife: “Are you just play-ignoring me, or are you ignoring me?”

The Girl: “Seriously, are you talking to me?”

The Wife and I, on her amazing memory loss lately, part one:

The Wife: “I’m glad you didn’t catch me this morning.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

The Wife: “You know how I’ve been starting to say stuff then I forget halfway through.”

Me: “Oh, like, ‘oh, by the way…shit!’?”

The Wife: “Yeah, so this morning, I came down from the bedroom to get something from the kitchen and…”

Me: “Yeah, and?”

The Wife: “Shit!”

Me: “You’re kidding right?”

The Wife: “No dammit!  I forgot what I was talking about.”

Me: “Seriously?  You forgot what you forgot?”

The Wife: “Shut up.”

The Girl and the Wife, on insults:

The Girl (after complaining she couldn’t find her earphones): “Oh, thank God!  I found them!”

The Wife: “Oh, after us having to listen to you whine all this time?”

The Girl: “Calm down.  I only complained twice.”

The Wife: “Did you just tell me to calm down?  Like my son does?”

The Girl: “Yeah, get over it.”

The Wife: “Hmph! Ack! Fuh! Hrmm!”

The Girl: “Mom, you have to use real words to insult me.”

The Wife and I, on her amazing memory loss lately, part two:

The Wife: “If I got Alzheimer’s, would you put me in a home?”

Me: “Probably.”

The Wife: “Seriously?  You would?”

Me: “Sure.  You wouldn’t remember it was me who did it anyway.”

The Wife and the Boy and I, on the possibility of going south on March Break:

The Boy: “I don’t wanna go to Florida again.”

The Wife: “Why not?”

The Boy: “We’ve been there, done that.  I don’t wanna go anyplace hot.”

Me: “What about the Dominican again?”

The Boy: “No.”

The Wife: “Why?”

The Boy: “Cuz it’s hot.”

Me: “But you’re five years older now.”

The Boy: “So?”

Me: “So you’re fifteen.  I’m guessing you’ll appreciate the topless beaches a lot more than when you were ten.”

The Boy: “Yeah, but most of those women were old.”

The Wife: “Not all of them.  You didn’t seem to mind some of them last time.”

The Boy: “Yeah, but I don’t wanna look at all the Tit-anics.”

The Wife: “What the hell’s a ‘tit-anic’?”

The Boy (cupping his hands in front of his chest, then dropping them quickly): “Yeah, tit-anics.  They start out big, but then they sink.”


13 thoughts on “Conversations…

  1. Great group you have under one roof. These made me laugh. Unfortunately I’m turning into the person who forgets. Not as humorous when it happens so close to home!

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