Are they really this stupid? Why, yes! They are!

Oct 26, 2009, Ontario instituted a ban on using cell phones while driving, unless using a hands-free device.

Which isn’t a hard thing to do, there’s a lot of good, cheap Bluetooth earsets out there, or a speaker device that clips to you sunvisor.  Hell, a lot of newer cars have it built right into the radio (though the one in our truck kinda sucks).  Get email or texts a lot?  There’s a lot of apps that will read them for you out loud so you don’t have to read.  They’ll even do it as they come in, so you don’t even have to fiddle with the phone.

C’mon, admit it…If you dug Star Trek, you’ll buy into this.  Captain Kirk had the first flip phone, but Lt. Uhura had the first Bluetooth.  So who’s cooler?

So why in the hell do I constantly see morons with phones to their ears, babbling away as they swerve drunkenly over the same roads my family uses?  Why do I see idiots happily holding their phone at eye-level as they tippy-tap their obviously earth-shaking messages out to recipients instead of, you know, watching where the hell they’re going?  Or even better, the ones that keep it low so the cops don’t see them, but completely give themselves away by occasionally glancing at the road while devoting the bulk of the time they’re navigating a speeding two-ton chunk of metal to looking down.  Even better at night.  Let me give all you morons a free piece of advice…you’re not fooling anyone when the glow from your cell phone is illuminating your entire face.


And then, just when you think you’ve heard it all…just when you’ve yelled at a person (my favourite is, “It’s illegal, dickhead!”) and gotten a what-are-you-yelling-at-me-for-I’m-totally-not-doing-anything-wrong-or-dangerous-or-stupid-you’re-just-being-an-asshole-for-no-reason look…just when all that has come to pass, you hear about someone like David Secker.

Who’s David Secker?  Only the guy that was pulled over in Blofield, near Norwich, England for talking on his cell phone.  And texting on his other cell phone.  While doing 75 m/h (120 km/h).  While steering with his knees (of course, because he had no freakin’ hands left to drive with!).

When he was pulled over, he insisted on finishing his phone call before dealing with the police.  Lucky he wasn’t in L.A. or something.  They would have shot or, at the very least, tased his ass.

Instead, he got fined about $250 and got his licence suspended for a year.  And really, why does anyone need two cell phones, let alone David Secker, who’s unemployed?  One has to wonder how someone with such mad multitasking skills manages to remain sans job.

Oh yeah.  It’s because he’s a dickhead.

And then…and then…I thought that was bad…until I watched this.

I’ll warn ya, the f-bomb is dropped, but quite honestly, I can understand why.  Please, watch the video before reading on…I wouldn’t want to spoil the fun.

So, yeah…you saw it with your own eyes.

What kind of audacity does it take to do this?  What kind of I-really-don’t-give-a-shit-who-I-kill-as-long-as-I-get-to-do-any-dumbass-thing-I-want attitude do you need to have to even attempt this?

I mean, drunk drivers?  Don’t get me started.  But at least they can blame the alcohol for impairing their judgement.

This dude?  Not so much.

Can we just make a new law?  Whenever we see somebody doing something this life-threateningly stupid, we can pull them from their vehicles, drop their keys down the nearest sewer grate, and beat the living shit out of them?


4 thoughts on “Are they really this stupid? Why, yes! They are!

  1. It’s the best when you get the people doing these stupidly dangerous things in horrible weather. Pouring rain out today? Why, I think I’ll make my left turn by running this red light talking on my cell phone- the poor girl who just got out of work can totally avoid my SUV going 70 km/h when the limit’s 50!

  2. Pingback: Lord of the Pee-Pee Dance « Left to Write

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