The Rapture and Me

So I woke up this morning.

In my own bed.


Guess I didn’t go to Heaven. Then again, none of my friends seemed to either. No one on the street. Got some Facebook emails and updates too, all after midnight. So, either everyone I know is a Godless heathen…

Or Rapture 2011 didn’t happen.

Rapture 1

Now, I’m totally not discounting the fact that I may not go to Heaven. But everyone I know not making it into the club too? I know some really deserving people. Heck, despite what I wrote about her yesterday, my Mom for one.  My kids, despite being some serious pains sometimes, totally deserve an Upstairs Bedroom, if you know what I mean.  My wife, pain in the ass that she can be sometimes (though, probably not anywhere near as pain in the assy as me) has earned a spot too.  Probably most everyone around me.

Huh…what does that say about me?

I could totally accept if I didn’t make it.  I’ve done some seriously stupid things. I’ve even done some really bad things that I wish I could have a do-over on.  I know I’ve hurt some people that I can never say “I’m sorry” to anywhere near enough…

do over

Anyway, the point is, like everything in life, having a non-Rapture has it’s pros and cons.

First, the pros.

Pros include, but are not limited to…

I get to see the eighth and final season of House. 


 I also get to plow through the last two seasons of Lost and find out what happened on that damn island (please don’t say anything, I’ve managed to avoid all hints of what transpired up to now). 


I’ll get to see Josh Whedon’s Avengers movie. 


I’ll get to see both my kids grow up. 

 I’ll get to walk my dog some more. 

I’ll get to be a published author.

I’ll get to spend more time with those I love.

I’ll get to live a little longer.

There’s a whole lotta things I’m missing there.  I know that.  That’s the problem with trying to come up with a list on the fly.  I’m missing stuff like my wife, the Beatles, Steely Dan, sex, sleep…all sorts of stuff.  Watch for all these exciting topics to make appearances on Future Exciting Blogs!

On the flip side, the cons include (but again, are not limited to)…

I’ll finally have to cut the grass (though if I play my cards right, I can get the Boy to do that).


I’ll have to go grocery shopping this weekend…and next weekend…and the weekend after that…


I’ll have to live through my daughter moving to Ottawa in Sept to attend Carleton.


I’ll have to help the Boy with Grade 10 homework (Grade 9 was bad enough!).

I’ll have to pay all those bills I’ve been hoarding for the post-Rapture crash.

I’ll have to pick more doggy-do.


I’ll keep getting older.

But in the end, seems like the morons that have been predicting the End of the World are wrong.  Again.  Can’t wait for Dec 12, 2012.  Bring it on!  I’m waiting for Dec 13, 2011 to come.  I’m planning on buying a bunch of stuff on one of those “Don’t pay a cent for One! Full! Year!” events.  Woo-hoo!


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